The conversations that start after kids

Maybe we should move.
I miss being near the ocean.
I want my kids to have XYZ

Along with struggles in your career – things change and feel different post kids. Including the seemingly never ending conversation about where to settle.

I am no different. I feel the pull to “home” even though Toronto is – and has been home for longer.

I grew up in British Columbia. I am an ocean person. I love how the air smells in the mountains and I pine for the life that it looks like I could have. The one I remember loving.
I look at childhood friends, aunts and cousins and watch them grow from afar with their families and I feel sad to not be a part of it.

The same thing happens in the country though. I look around at all the space and wonder if my urban lifestyle is what we want.

This longing and indecision can take up a lot of our brain space. Can be hard on your relationship with the constant “what if” scenario. It puts you in a place where you can become stagnant in your career as you wait to figure out the “what if” first.

I know Toronto is where we are. Where we will stay and where I will be happy.

BUT every month I allow myself 24 hours. 24 hours to go to the real estate website, look up places close to the beach. Look at schools on Vancouver Island. To book summer flights to visit and get my sand and surf fix. To look forward to my godmother’s warm embrace.

And then I stop. I return to the present and work really hard at soaking up all the wonderful things around me. The music, people, warm hugs and laughter with friends. I spend the other 29 days in the month being happy.

Allison Venditti –

Allison is a Career Coach, Return to work expert and creator of Ready to Return – Canada’s first online course for Moms Returning to Work from maternity leave.

She is the mama to 3 little boys and an advocate for working parents. Check out her courses, coaching and more blog posts at