Before the pandemic I never realized how much I felt the need to make excuses for my choices. Why I ran my own business. Why I had 3 kids. Why I do all sorts of things.
This is what it sounded like –
PERSON A: Wow you seem like you are working so hard – maybe you should slow down and just take time for your kids!
ME: Yeah I really enjoy the time I spend with my kids. My work fulfills me. I like that I have something just for me (blah blah blah)
When the pandemic hit suddenly EVERYONE seemed to want to know what EVERYONE else was doing (even people I don’t know)
Are you sending your kids to school?
Why?
Why not?
How many people are in your bubble?
Is your business still making money?
You should stop working – you should focus on your kids – wouldn’t that feel better?
And then in a small fitful rage I picked out 4 little words that have changed my life IMMEASURABLY
AND EVEN BETTER – THESE WORDS
Here are some fun examples
A: Wow you seem like you are really busy at work – are you wanting to take time off?
Me: Nope. I don’t want to.
Example 2
A: Are you planning for October?
Me: Nope. I don’t want to.
Example 3:
A: Hey – how are you managing work + kids – isn’t part of working for yourself so that you can stop whenever you want?
Me: (REALLY WANT TO INSERT FEMINIST RANT HERE) but instead I say – nope I am working because I want to.
As women we are programmed to explain oursleves and to apologize. I guarantee that if you track it on any single day you will do it more than a few times
But you don’t need to. You don’t owe the world any explaination. And that my friends is…..(and Im going to let Jeff Goldblum do this)
POWERFUL
Allison Venditti is a Career Coach & advocate for working mothers.
Check out her site here: http://www.careerlove.ca
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