Before the pandemic I never realized how much I felt the need to make excuses for my choices. Why I ran my own business. Why I had 3 kids. Why I do all sorts of things.

This is what it sounded like –

PERSON A: Wow you seem like you are working so hard – maybe you should slow down and just take time for your kids!

ME: Yeah I really enjoy the time I spend with my kids. My work fulfills me. I like that I have something just for me (blah blah blah)

When the pandemic hit suddenly EVERYONE seemed to want to know what EVERYONE else was doing (even people I don’t know)

Are you sending your kids to school?


Why not?

How many people are in your bubble?

Is your business still making money?

You should stop working – you should focus on your kids – wouldn’t that feel better?

And then in a small fitful rage I picked out 4 little words that have changed my life IMMEASURABLY

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Here are some fun examples

A: Wow you seem like you are really busy at work – are you wanting to take time off?

Me: Nope. I don’t want to.

Example 2

A: Are you planning for October?

Me: Nope. I don’t want to.

Example 3:

A: Hey – how are you managing work + kids – isn’t part of working for yourself so that you can stop whenever you want?

Me: (REALLY WANT TO INSERT FEMINIST RANT HERE) but instead I say – nope I am working because I want to.

As women we are programmed to explain oursleves and to apologize. I guarantee that if you track it on any single day you will do it more than a few times

But you don’t need to. You don’t owe the world any explaination. And that my friends is…..(and Im going to let Jeff Goldblum do this)


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Allison Venditti is a Career Coach & advocate for working mothers.

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